Website & blogs © Louis Kraft 2013-2020
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Facebook is part of my life, and although to survive I am attempting to move from FB to this blog, I am now moving between two online worlds. I have a lot of friends, and I get along with people well, for they—you—drive my life. Only Marissa knows the hell of loneliness that is my life, for I don’t share this.
Not often, but perhaps today i need to open up for my sanity.
I hope someone sees the following FB posting, but she won’t for she isn’t on FB. By posting it on the website I am making it available to her. If she sees it, and if it offends her, I hope that when next she sees me, she belts me, for I deserve it.
The words are totally out of line. … I’m a gutsy fellow, but when it comes to what I want—really want—I’m not very good at doing what I need to do. … Not good at doing what I need to do for me. I can pitch a story idea and if it isn’t wanted I can walk away without a whimper, without feeling rejection. However, I don’t do well in life and often walk away without the other person ever knowing that I’m interested in her. I can’t tell you how often someone has said to me, “If you had just let me know … ” years later. This is not a lesson I have learned, not lesson I have moved beyond. What was true when I was young is true today. I just posted something on FB … and it is part of who I am. This blog lives because I need to discover who I am. What follows is from a FB posting, and hopefully if the lady in question sees it she isn’t offended:
“I haven’t heard a good song in a long time. Weeks back I heard Rihanna and some of her friends perform “Stay,” and whoa, this is a song that hits me dead center. A lot of changes are going on in my life, and this lady’s music has caught me in a place I haven’t been in a long time. “Stay,” … and let me tell you it’s about time someone I want stays in my life. I’m not dead. Hell, I’m not close to being dead. I can’t guess how many people I’m going to piss off in the next 40 years. Need a lady to join this walk into the future. Need a lady to hold me tight. There’s only one person who fits the above words. Need to step outside of my safe zone and risk upsetting a small friend, I need to risk ending a friendship to create something I want. Hard decision, but it is time to go after what I want.”
Dear lady, if you see this and are offended, please hit me with your best swing.